Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Do They Have an App For ME?


There’s an app for everything.  I really don’t think I need to give you a run-down on the apps out there, do I?  Because there are a lot, and we might be here for a while if you need that level of hand holding.

HOWEVER, there’s nothing out there for my total inability to play computer games, and this bothers me.  I recently downloaded a super cool game for my phone called Mr. Mixit.  Go download it in the marketplace for Android apps.  You help a robotic DJ play by putting record labels together for him on two turn tables. It’s got a cool soundtrack and everyone in my house LOVES playing it, including me! 

Except I totally suck at it.

And I’m not getting any better at it!! 

And I’m the only one of the four of us, including a 6 year old, who isn’t getting better!!

What’s wrong with me that I can’t play video games? I have the desire. I have what I believe to be some brain matter, and I can walk and talk, walk and chew gum, or change a diaper while talking on the phone and chopping celery. That I can generally multi-task is what the overriding theme of this paragraph would be... 

Right now I’m typing this, watching “The Simpsons” and eating a cinnamon bun…and yelling at my children while thinking about the kindergarten snack schedule that isn’t creating itself and periodically checking on my lab puppy who’s digging a hole to China in my backyard and swimming in the mud pit after the rain. See? That's a lotta tasking.

Yet…gaming completely and in all ways eludes me.  I can’t keep track of the button combos to make specific moves, I can’t remember all the rules and where the hiding things are…if I die once my patience has already started to wear thin. 

AND OH MY GOD
HAVING A TIMER CLICKING AWAY
MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF!!

What’s wrong with me?  Do I have gamer-anxiety in addition to social anxiety or am I just really super stupid? Is my hand-eye coordination theoretical in nature rather than actual?

Don’t answer those questions because they’re rhetorical, in nature and actuality. Since the New Year is long gone, I’m going to adopt a New Quarter’s Resolution and promise to work harder at getting better at gaming. 

My goal will be to first slay Mr. Mixit into musical submission (seriously go spend a whole dollar and play it for yourself if you think you're better...) and then move on to eventually best my 9 year old at Assassin’s Creed.  Like all Resolutions, whether New Year’s or New Quarter’s, I plan for this to fall apart in three weeks. 

In the mean time, don’t be bugging me.  Imma be mixin’ it hard core yo.


Look at that timer...why don't I just murder myself?

*Photo credit:  androidzoom.com

 

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