Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sports and Corelle

I live in a city with a Major League Baseball team and a National Football League team. By all rights, it’s Shangri La.  We even have a hockey team, but I'm not Canadian so I don't care about that. My "jewel on the river" tore down an old stadium and built two brand new ones (for the non-hockey teams, duh) that are only slightly less than state-of-the-art, because my fair city is in a perpetual drag behind the rest of the world on all counts. My town loves its teams…and loves to hate its teams.

We aren’t fair weather fans, exactly; we’re fans who show up time and again to either cheer them or deride them. Either way, we’re in their face. Because we built those yutzes a nice playground so dammit we’re showing up and telling them what we think. And, honestly, we don’t usually think very highly of our men on the field.

Last night I had occasion to attend one such MLB performance and found myself more than ready to leave after the 3rd inning rain delay had completed its first full hour. The $8 hot dog, $5 pretzel, and $8 Bud Lite had sufficiently told me I’d been to a major sporting event and the thought of the long walk back to the car, parked for only $2 because I had, for all intents and purposes, practically parked it in my driveway, seemed best attempted under dry skies. Anyway, the boys of summer were delivering a typical performance… a performance that even 12th row seats behind home plate couldn’t overcome.

My view, from my seat, with my camera. IMPRESSIVE!

And then when I got home I noticed something on my counter. A plate. Made by Corelle.

Here are some of the features, advantages and benefits:
Everybody has their own sense of style. Which is why we offer our Corelle® dinnerware in so many different patterns and shapes. But one thing everybody agrees on is durability. Dinnerware needs to last. We use a unique material called Vitrelle® , which gives our plates and bowls that legendary Corelle durability. It also gives them a number of other benefits that other brands can't offer.

Benefits like: being lightweight, microwave safe, fade resistant, dishwasher safe and stackable because of the greatest benefit of all…they’re chip and break resistant. How is this possible, you ask? They’re made of tempered glass! That’s right, Corelle offers windshields for plate ware. If you’ve ever had occasion to own or use a piece of Corelle then you already know it’s NIGH UNBREAKABLE.

And the best part is that the price point is almost always just right. (Meaning cheap!)

So…what does this have to do with sports and my less than fulfilling experience at the “ballpark?” I don’t know. I’m not Frank DeFord.

This is NOT me.
The mustache is where the
similarity ends....

But it did occur to me that what got my panties in a wad is how much stinkin’ money we pay to attend mediocre games. We don’t spend that much money on anything else…no one spends 50 large on a Geo Metro. There would be NO repeat business on a limp old hot dog that cost $10. And why oh why would a sane person spend $8 on a watery beer that costs...well, not that much for an entire 6 pack?!?

We’re a frugal lot when it comes to expenses like FOOD, or fuel to get us to our JOBS…but plant a stadium in a city and see what happens. People drop hundreds of dollars to watch lackluster performances just in case something miraculous and heartwarming and inspiring happens.

I found myself wishing one dude would hit a ball so hard and so fast that it would shatter the lights, just like Roy Hobbs does in the movie version of Bernard Malamud’s novel, “The Natural”…the novel ends somewhat more tragically and so we Americans chose to change all that for the awe inspiring moment that planted itself in my brain and sent me to the ballpark.

I went there looking for Spode.
We paid what we did for the promise of Wedgewood.
We left knowing we’d been served Corelle: that sturdy, usable, reusable and nigh unbreakable thing that will keep on performing whether you adore it or not.

Anyway. Go team!

1 comment:

  1. I like sports entertainment without paying for it; therefore, I watch it on TV!