Tuesday, September 20, 2011

John Mayer Can't Sing

I bet you already thought you knew that....


Michael Loccisano  /  Getty Images

I read yesterday that John Mayer has a nodule on his vocal cord that’s preventing him from singing.

I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.

Now, before you go off a cliff in some kind of insane rage or inconsolable fit of despair, let me remind you that his vocal cords are nowhere near his genitals, so he’s still just fine in the womanizing and dating five year old categories. The princesses in tiaras have NOTHING to worry about...

But the 3 or 4 people planning to see him at the iheartradio Music Fest in Vegas will be quite sad indeed.

The crooner is delaying the release of his new album <Insert name here> until next year so that his throat can heal. It's all VERY touch and go...so light a candle or something because a world without new John Mayer music is a world I don't care to know.

Mayer wrote on his blog: "I've got the best doctors in the country looking after me and I will be singing and touring again as soon as I get the all-clear. Until then I'll be spending time writing and composing more music and kicking an empty soup can around the West Village." 


Honestly, I'd like to see him kicking an empty soup can and not with a fedora on his head, emo look his face...or hands shoved down into his pockets, lamenting his soulful removal from the music scene.

Anyway, my point is that poor John Mayer can't sing.

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