Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday. Meh...

So it's Friday in my world, and the sky is overcast for your information. It seems there may be a slight chance of rain and the temperature has dropped. I don't know how low because I haven't been out there...who am I? A pioneer?

I slept for about 26.19 minutes last night so fatigue is crushing me like an overweight lover...and I'm over it so move on, yeah? But I don't ever want people to think that I've lost the usual bright and sunny demeanor that I bring to Al Gore's Interwebs, so today I'm going to fake it till I make it. (Hey that overweight lover can roll away anytime he wants to...until then...fake, fake, fake.)

Things that will make me happy today, real or imagined, and in no particular order:

1- Amy Sedaris (and to a lesser extent, her brother David...but mostly Amy) for telling me how to have a party and make sure that my guests all have a good time no matter what illicit drug they happen to be taking.

Seriously. Are you kidding me with this?

2- Coupon toting blind dates who take you to Applebee's and tell you not to get used to anything fancy. 

3- Bakers. Night time bakers, day time bakers. Bakers in jeans, bakers in chef pants. Bakers. (Of pastries, cakes and other fine desserts...not pot smokers.)

4- Pot smokers, because, under the right circumstance, they can be hilarious. Or at least mellow enough to get the frap out of my way when I'm tired.

5- Codeine. According to the NIH..."Codeine belongs to a class of medications called opiate (narcotic) analgesics. When codeine is used to treat pain, it works by changing the way the body senses pain." And there is NOTHING wrong with that.

6- Dickies. Not the work wear, not any wear, except the enterprising man's leisure wear of the 1960's and 70's. Look at one. How can you not be happy? Are you dead inside?

7- Having grace under pressure. You really can't overrate this one. Knowing how to handle life's situations as they arise, or collapse on top of you like a dead weight overweight lover named Fatigue who has overstayed his welcome and is frankly starting to piss you off, is one of the greatest things you have in all of life (if you've run out of codeine).

From Pinterest...heard of it yet?

So that's it. Ya'll know how much I like stopping at seven. So happy Friday, or whatever day it is you're celebrating, and I'll talk to you later. The crane just showed up and this fat bastard is getting off me if I have to smoke meth to make it happen. 

(DISCLAIMER: I do not intend to consume anything that hasn't been prescribed by my ill-fated doctor- Conrad Murray, MD.)

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