Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Hearts and candy

Love really IS grand.

I'd be remiss if I allowed to pass this most auspicious day on the calendar without giving rightful due to the blessed and revered St. Valentine. 

I did some research, by which I mean I Wikipedia'd the name St. Valentine and stopped there, and here's what you can learn from your one-stop-shop knowledge base:

"Observed on February 14, [Valentine's Day honors] one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentinus. It was first established by Pope Gelasius I in 496 AD, and was later deleted from the General Roman Calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. It is celebrated in countries around the world, mostly in the West, although it remains a working day in all of them.
The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. By the 15th century, it had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines").
Modern Valentine's Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards."
First of all, it's total crap that anyone has to work on Valentine's Day! Even if you don't have a special someone, or if your special someone is someone you can no longer stand the sight of, or you just feel like branching out....Valentine's Day should be a government sanctioned day of pure hedonism. Want to eat 40 pounds of heart shaped "gamble" chocolate? You can't do that and work! What if you get the one that tastes like toothpaste?? (Thanks Jim Gaffigan, I love you most on this day....)

Want to hire some "sex industry experts" and learn the tricks of the trade? PLEASE don't do that on your lunch break in the office kitchen. And does the day inspire loathing and mental altering of any sort? You should probably just stay home. There is no proper way to celebrate the day of giving mass-produced greeting cards AND work giving to society at large in a meaningful way! 

So on this day of love, lust, and diabetic comas...let me wish you all the courtly love I can muster (which you know isn't very much if you've been here before) and send you off into this day with one more thought: 

Both images from "this isn't happiness"
It restores my will to live.

Now get out there and love it up!


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