Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Facebook ads that DON'T speak to me.

Thanks to the new medication, I no longer hear advertisements ACTUALLY speaking to me. However, apparently, even the really quiet ones are supposed to be trying to communicate with me. Here are a few that I saw tonight...that don't work. On any level.

I don't want to teach obese babies. 

No, it's cool. Your stock photo of a white dude with a stethoscope and scrubs is all I need to click through and find out if the crushing chest pain, radiating arm and jaw pain, as well as deep desire to call 911 are any of the four warning signs that I'm currently dying.

All it took all this time was a VOTE?!? On Facebook?!? Okay, A) Mark Zuckerberg is a complete and total genius. What started out as a way to get laid in college is now curing cancer, if only the page could get enough likes. B) When I die of cancer, I blame you, because you probably didn't vote. If you HAD, I wouldn't have gotten cancer. It's simple math.

NICE!!! This interstate is in my town!!  And I only need to drive 374 miles into Florida to get to it!! Naked people 12+ hours away by car is definitely spot-on-targeted advertising in my book. 

So, to sum up, none of this is helpful at all. 

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