Monday, April 30, 2012

This one's pretty punny

I haven't done one of these for a while, because they're hard. Real hard.

I was going to write this post with a pencil, but it was pointless and then I thought an erasable pen might work but that was only a good idea on paper...and anyway how would anyone read it? The pony express doesn't ride everywhere you live and I'd hate for you to miss one. Many of you get these delivered to your iPhones, Droids, or other wireless devices and in order to be sure you never miss one I'd like to suggest that you name your device "Titanic"...that way it'll always sync appropriately.

Puns can be fun if you understand them. Personally, my cross eyed English teacher got fired before she could teach me because she just couldn't control her pupils. Now I'm stuck here in the US with a lesser education. This causes me heartache, too, because I've always wanted to go to England. After all, despite not having a kidney bank, they DO have a Liverpool over there, and I think that'd be swell to see. They've also got some neat moors over there and I've thought it might cool to catch some of the fog that rolls in, even though most people I know have mist it. 

I really can't blame the English teacher, because I also failed out of my communism class.  I had such lousy Marx I couldn't contribute like I was supposed to (but remember your driving instructor fondly, okay? They're almost always roads scholars). I tried being a banker, but I lost interest. That's because in school I could never understand math, even when the teacher summed it up for me. I lasted just one day as an amplifier salesperson because I couldn't get my volume of sales up enough. And my word, I did well enough at the concrete plant, but it just kept getting harder and harder!

My job as a butcher was no good because I couldn't make the cut so I finally found a job at a bakery where I got my kneaded dough. The only thing that really worries me now is that my flight to England leaves from JFK and I've heard that all the toilets in New York have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on!! Crime will surely surge and I just don't want to be in that situation. For example...a cartoon artist was found dead, but the details are sketchy!

Maybe I'll head over to Greece instead. A journalist friend of mine just got back and is writing columns about the trip. (I have another friend who's an Italian pastry maker...she can't travel either and I cannoli imagine what she's going through.) I could try my hand at rock climbing but that seems rather precipitous, so I just don't know what to do. Maybe I'll drink this beer and think more about it. If the electricity goes out at the bar, I'm's a lite beer.

1 comment:

  1. Your insomnia is paying off- oh slayer of the sentence :-) That was a good read!