Friday, November 16, 2012

I want your pants.

Yeah that's right. I want your pants....all of them, including your underpants. If you're the type that says immediately, "I don't wear underpants" then head out (pun!), buy yourself some and give 'em to me. Then go on with your hipster doofus self.

We had a super storm hit our shores a few weeks ago and just like Katrina, where they're STILL rebuilding even though most of us don't care because that's sooo 2005, it's going to take a while to rebuild the Eastern Shore. Guess what they need besides *everything*?? Underwear. We all donate our used clothes to Goodwill and the Salvation Army, but no one donates underwear.

And, you know, thanks for that...because honestly no one wants your USED underwear except on Craigslist or eBay. Thousands of people are displaced every day from their homes where they've lost everything and part of that everything is underwear. It seems so obvious; however no one ever donates new packages of underwear to charities. Most of us, except the aforementioned hipster doofi, wear underpants on a semi-regular basis but we don't think of people who've lost it all needing some replacements.

I have two sons - even they have preferences in underwear: boxers, camo print if possible. Imagine the seven year old girl who's lost her entire bedroom and everything in it. Her favorite dresses, broken in jeans or Halloween costumes. Her dolls and posters and all the little rocks and feathers she's picked up in her short life. Think of the 12 year old boy, on the cusp of something horrible already (puberty!) who has lost his little man cave...these kids don't have underwear. Neither do their parents.

So in addition to the cleaning supplies that most residents really want, and the food and gas and electricity...they'd also like something we really super duper take for granted every day. UNDERWEAR.

Just think about it for a little while and decide for yourself what you want to do as we head into the International Solstice of Charitable Giving. Canned goods, money, blankets, non-perishables and underwear. For kids, for teens, for 20 somethings, and for everyone on up. Really, really small things are what give us normalcy in life and that's precisely the reason we don't think of them. They're normal. But when you have nothing, maybe what you want is the normal. The boring. The routine. A freaking pair of new underwear.

Do good deeds peeps! See you next week.

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