Sunday, August 25, 2013

Oh. My. God.

Yeah that's right. I said God. Right there in the title. It's like a full frontal assault on the the absolutely most maligned religion in the world: Christianity. And that's not even what this post is about.

I've had it "up to here" (wherever that is...I'm only 5'3", so it's not really all that far up) with pretty much everyone and everything. I'm physically tired from not getting the exercise I need, I'm tired tired from not getting the sleep I need, I'm hungry from not getting the food I need. Okay that last one was a lie. I'm an American, so we all know I'm getting about 5,000 calories more every day than any elephant needs.

What I'm really, really, extremely tired of (and therefore have had it at least up to 5'1") is PEOPLE TALKING.

I've never seen so much impotent pontificating from such a lazy ass group of complacent Westerners. We ALL have an ax to grind. We're picking bones right and left, conservative and liberal. We're using so many exclamation points in our strongly worded 140 character missives that I'm damn near blind with all the righteous outrage.

Oh Lord and sweet baby Jesus drinking cherry Coke Zero, they're trying to cut healthcare costs for the common schmo, and make college affordable for an increasingly stupid populace. What now?!? I might not be able to afford my $5 t-shirt made by a 9 year old Taiwanese kid who wasn't allowed to pee when he needed to. And sweet Judy Blue-Eyes, the cable companies are fighting over which channels I can add to my 475 channel line-up and then how am I ever going to escape the hard-working hell that is being an American?!?

It's not like my government just unleashed a midnight attack of nerve gas that killed my babies when they slept in their beds. But what do I care about that? Those people are different from me and they don't love their children. They didn't kiss them goodnight, say their Godless and wrong prayers for comfort, safety and happiness, and then trust that everyone under the age of 50 would wake up in the morning. Only Americans do that, and deserve to have that prayer come true.

There is real, honest to goodness AND God, suffering happening in the world and we're over here on our gilded lily pad screaming to the high heavens about the cost of a stamp, and how many thousands and millions of dollars we need so we can retire in comfort 30+ years before our deaths.

There are babies dying in their beds at night, there are children being conscripted into guerrilla armies and being sold into servitude (some of them right here in our own bourgeois cities) and we're beating the drums of outrage over our hordes of pennies like a toddler way past bedtime.

So how 'bout this? How 'bout we wake the fuck up from our silly little day dream that our problems are the worst, most gut wrenching, teeth gnashing, Sisyphus and the rock problems the world has ever known? How 'bout we stop worrying about who's getting married to whom and how they choose to share their paychecks and beds? How 'bout we stop quibbling over the pennies that make the dollars that might even add up to a hundred over the course of our year when it means a child gets meal, or pair of glasses, or even (gasp!) a nice meal on their birthday.

How about this: we all take one GIANT step backwards and look once to right and once to the left. You know there's a whole wide world of suffering and need when you stop staring directly into your own reflection in the mirror. And then, here's a thought, and it's really, extraordinarily whacky. How about we count our blessings, shut the fuck up, and get on with making the entire living planet a better place?

Yes, even the places you've never visited that have no bearing on your daily life. It's a grand plan, I admit.

But I'm the kind of stupid that thinks it's worth it.

I got these picture from Ode to the's pretty much my "go-to" place for when I want to see what people who aren't American but like happiness look like.