We usually think that talking is the means to understanding and that talking is the way to resolution or greatest depth of communication. But consider the following:
- When saying hello to someone you've missed, it's the hug that conveys the most.
- When saying goodbye to someone you love, it's the hug.
- When walking next to someone in a moment of anxiety, it's the hand holding that brings comfort.
- A baby knows nothing of language but understands the comfort and love being communicated in the cradling and the touch.
I think it's why we love things like Instagram, Vine, even the nefarious Snapchat. We say the most to each other in moments devoid of words and language. This strikes me deeply, since words and language seem to be my gift. What I feel best at is something so trivial; it will never measure up to what I can say with a look, or a touch.
My serendipitous moment came to me this way:
(Thanks, Carrie, for sharing what meant something to you and meant so much to me.)
They say nothing. But you and I both know after seeing this that they communicated something so profound to us. We know more than they could have ever explained with feeble words. At the end, he is unsure that she knows, and so he uses words but I don't think he needed to. We don't know what he says but we do. His words are entirely unnecessary insurance.
If I have one wish for you today, it's that you will think of your language when you are saying nothing. I wish that you will take a moment and reflect on what you really want when it comes to the people you love - friends or family. Because what I would want most, if I could have anything at all from the one I miss in my very core, is a hug.
The rest would be details.